And then some…
So, as some of you may or may not know, I went on a road trip in October. It was a bit spontaneous and not entirely, 100% positive, but there you go. It was very.. enlightening. I’d wanted to go on a Road Trip since I took my Driver’s Ed course. And, when I got my car, I felt it was time.
I visited my good friends Ashval and Kirasha. We had a wonderful time, and I can’t thank them enough for letting me hang with them on such short notice. (and for putting up with me!) This trip didn’t end there, I drifted into Michigan to visit other friends of mine as well. And, again, they are gracious people for allowing me to pop into their lives at the last minute.
The trip itself was long and having taken it alone was both good and bad. Keep in mind that in total, I drove roughly 1450 miles, and about 20 hours total. No, I’m not crazy, honest. I’m just a person who never drove before, got her license, her own car, and felt like proving something to herself. Plus, I got to hang out with friends, see some of the USA I’d never seen before, and bond with my car. Dare I say that I was proud of myself for tackling such a task.
Uh anyway… it was a good trip, it had consequences, though. Like all things do. I’m learning a lot about consequences of late. Every action has an equal, opposite reaction, so they say. I won’t beat around the bush. Things are tough. I’m not gonna whine about it. I’m not going to get all emo about it… well, I’m trying not to. Growing up, I thought I had experienced a pretty broad spectrum of “pain”. Looking back and looking at RIGHT NOW, that was a pretty naive thought. “Pain” comes in so many shapes and sizes and colors and flavors, that it’s impossible to steel yourself completely for all of them.
“Pain” is helping to unhinge me. So to speak. I’m not talking about being crazy or being insane. Instead, sanity has a lot to do with it. It’s amazing when you can see yourself coming “unhinged”. It’s kind of like being in a type of car wreck, not that I ever have been in one, but it is as I imagine it would be. You know, you feel that it’s happening and your mind recognizes it.. but you can’t stop it, you have lost some control over the situation. Perhaps this is too vague, but it’s the best analogy I can fathom right now. Do I have an advantage when I am able to recognize something like this? I’d like to think so. In the past, I have had many words of wisdom for people I care about. How is it that that wisdom fails me when I need it the most?
I don’t normally get personal like this. It isn’t my way. I fear that I’ll be considered “emotional” or “crazy” or “whiny”. I fear what my friends might think of me, it’s true. However, I felt like going there today, and previously, I’ve had a few people approach me about something I may have discussed that was a little personal.. and they’ve said “You know, I can relate to that, I understand”. That’s good enough for me. If none of us ever meet, have a drink, go to a movie together, at least we can sometimes relate to one another in thought.
We can still share.
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