Welcome to Thallos
brought to you by Laurie Ellis
My art, my rants, my thoughts, and my dreams...
By Laurie on Tuesday, January 6th, 2009
I got picked up this morning at 9am for my first in-car driving class.
HOLY GOD.
I was terrified and anxious as hell. I stayed terrified, but the anxiety passed. The instructor was very nice and patient with me. Thank heavens. I did okay, though I’m totally new at all of this and will spend a lot of time getting used to the “feel” of driving.
It’s amazing how foreign it felt, yet familiar at the same time. Must be all the video games I’ve played. Who knows. Hour and a half later, I’m back home and happy to be in one piece. It was kinda fun, I do admit. We took country highways and was only in town for a bit.
Two more hours tomorrow… where I get to park and drive more around other people.
CRY.
By Laurie on Saturday, January 3rd, 2009
I started my Driver’s Education class today. From 8am to 2:30pm, I was downtown at the workforce essentials building. Surrounded by high school students(whom I think I scared), being the only real adult there, I listened to our teacher spend all day detailing one standard fact about the act of driving:
It’s totally freakin’ dangerous.
I liked how I spent all day hearing about how dangerous and life threatening it is to drive - since, you know, the reason I’m 29 and without a license is because I’m SCARED OF DRIVING.
Talk about confronting a phobia. I didn’t just confront it, I made out with it, bought it flowers, and proposed to it. Yeeeeeesh. Just as well. By the end of the class, I just wanted to check out the “Responsible Driving” class book, make my driving appointments, and GO HOME.
I get in the car with an instructor on Tuesday and Wednesday for a total of four of the six hours I need of actual driving for the class. My first guy is a cop, about my age or so, which will be nice in comparison to today. Then, all I have to do is take three more classes and two more hours of driving. From there? Working on getting my license.
By Laurie on Friday, January 2nd, 2009
Something that occurred to me tonight, while audiosurfing. Weird, I know. In any case… this new project should be fun. Concept sketch below:
By Laurie on Wednesday, December 31st, 2008
I’m reading through the bulletin for APSU and I think I’m shorting a wire somewhere in the grey matter upstairs.
Holy undead Jesus - I’m old and stupid. I’m slowly starting to understand all the college mumbo jumbo whositwhatsit, and I’m looking forward to talking to someone THERE to ask my questions. Boy do I have a lot of ‘em. I hope I’m prepared for this challenge. Yegads. Me in school again is a weird thought. I liked schoolwork… but I just know I’ll be surrounded by a buncha preppy young kids and want to claw my face off.
I start my driving course on Saturday. I originally signed up for February, but called and the dude there said I could switch to January’s. I just have to give ‘em a call on Friday. I AM SCARED WITLESS… a) confronting a phobia and b) I’m a wuss. Oh well. Crossin’ my fingers I don’t make a total ass out of myself.
Happy New Year!
By Laurie on Friday, December 26th, 2008
Something floats above me, casting down a shadow, a murkiness across my vision. Nothing glitters quite the way it used to. Nothing feels quite as soft as I remember.
I’ve wandered into a dark place, a thick fog of familiar stench. I’ll bury myself underneath the weight of it for a while.
Two newer sketches added, as promised.
By Laurie on Thursday, December 18th, 2008
Crap, there goes 2008. It wasn’t a bad year. It had its moments; some good, some bad, some inspirational. As I reflect on this, Elsy is purring in my ear as she pwns my shoulder once again. I think she missed me while I was gone this past weekend. (which was just awesome, by the way, thank you so much - you know who you are <3)
I won’t go into holiday-speak. I hate the holidays, sorry, ya’ll. It’s nice to give a few people you really care about some gifts and a big hug to make them smile and show your appreciation for them, otherwise - wake me up when it’s January. Have a fun holiday whoever you are!
So, beyond that, I can chalk up 2008 as a learning experience of various magnitudes. I think I’ve finally made up my mind about a few things. This is good. At the same time, though, they scare the hell out of me. It’s about time, however. I’ve bounced around in my comfortable dormancy for far too long. I want to DO, to GO, to SEE. Goshdarnit! So, I’m considering college here at APSU, finally. I know I’ve talked about it for years… I’m going to actually move ahead with it when I am able. Currently, I’m interested in the Communications Department’s Media Technology program. It seems like an eclectic mix of experiences that I’d like to focus on.
After I learn how to drive, that is. *groangroangroan* Has to be done! I made a bet!
Also still artsing about here and there. Will add more to the Gallery at http://www.thallos.net later. In the meantime, I’ll leave you with Hello Chewie whilst I go drown in Persona 3.
By Laurie on Wednesday, November 12th, 2008
The last week or so has been a major pain. What started out as a simple project to SLI my computer turned into a week+ of having to hang around on my laptop. I actually kind of enjoyed it! Cuddling on the couch under a blanket, watching movies on my macbook.
I will continue doing that, I think. Netflix Instant Play is in beta for Mac, and it seems to be working pretty well right now. I watched THX 1138… Clockwork Orange… more to come for sure. I might watch Our Man Flint today sometime. I love movies. Mmmm. <3
Anyhoo, I’ve been running around like an idiot with PSU issues… finding out that my Dell MB uses a 20 pin CPU connector (seriously… I mean… is it ’cause it’s a BTX board with quad-core compatibility? WTF), and having to order a specific PSU… that apparently doesn’t come with a power cable. Dude from Dell CS in Texas - I think you said your name was Jim. We had a nice chit-chat. Thank you for getting me that cable so fast. Really, I owe you coffee.
I’m back online now, at least. Working on more art, a website, and can hopefully get back on the air next week. Eh well, it was an interesting “vacation” from my desk, I suppose. However, between Fallout 3 and the Wrath release this weekend - I imagine I’ll be glued to my seat again. At least, for a little while.
By Laurie on Monday, October 6th, 2008
I’m not sure what’s going on with me lately. I really cannot put my finger on the why. Like a switch, something has flickered on inside. I’m actually doing more art… and it’s baffling me! I’ve been doing something semi-artistic for the last 4 years, just no actual painting/pieces. Just texture work for Second Life, which, admittedly, is a rather sterile experience.
Maybe, it’s the lack of distracting myself with MMORPGs. I haven’t played many such games, lately. I can only guess that their thrall over me is officially gone and I’m rediscovering my love of creating imagery.
So, again, today I’m working on another piece that was inspired by a wonderful friend of mine. It’s kinda late in the day, but I spent most of the morning falling asleep to SWANS in my ears. So harumph to you!
Amnesia is an awesome song, btw.
By Laurie on Thursday, October 2nd, 2008
I’m such a freakin’ whiner. Really. I didn’t used to think so. Perhaps it’s old age(yeah). I’m not quite sure what I can get out of whining about this now. I rarely go on about negative crap like this, so I have to get in my quota for the year.
It comes down to decisions. Ultimately, they define who we are as people. Sometimes, we won’t see the effects of some of those decisions right away. It’s those particular ones which I’m whining about here now.
I made a decision some time ago. When all is/was said and done, it was the right decision to make. The only problem is that that ordeal has left some side effects behind that I was not expecting. Maybe my brain is slowly breaking itself further and I need therapy - I’m not sure, but I’m having a slightly difficult time dealing with these side effects. Perhaps change is becoming harder to bounce back from at my age. I’m a Gemini though, shaking things up is supposed to be part of my “thing”. We all defy our own norms on occasion, though, it’s true.
I just feel like a bad person - no one wants to feel that way, ever. Not even the bad guys. I always thought I was a good person with the rare “idiot moment”. Lately, though, I feel so different than I used to. Less confident in my intentions. Making decisions and not realizing the consequences.
I mentioned ‘feeling alone’ recently. Technically, no I’m not alone. Anyone who has someone they know who they can call “friend” is not really alone. I guess maybe I meant it in a different way than is usually understood. Maybe, really, we’re all alone together in this world. Maybe there is no alternative and that that decision I made didn’t make me more “alone”, it just made me realize I *was*.
I call many people “friend”. I’m a friendly person. I may not be outgoing, but I’m friendly. I smile and help people I don’t know. I try to be as patient as possible with everyone. I give people the benefit of the doubt on many occasion. Is it Karma? Is it wanting people to like me? Both? I’m not sure. I’ve always tried to be something to those I call “Friend”. Consistently, I’ve opened up myself to them, in the past.
However, these days I’ve not been able to really do that. I’m guarding myself more closely than I used to. THIS is the side effect from a decision I made over a year ago. If anything, it’s gotten much worse as time goes on. Instead of feeling comfortable, I just babble on in amusement hoping to eventually drown out this feeling. Convince myself that it’s normal and I should just get used to it. Perhaps getting used to it would be the best course of action anyway. I just wonder if I’ll ever be back there again - unguarded, open, trusting, and sure.
See, toldya I was a whiner.
By Laurie on Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
Just a small update!
I’ve been hard at work lately with an art project I started in July. It’s a comic-book inspired image that will be printed and hung on my wall. Squee! Still in progress, but you can find the progression here in Projects. Keep an eye out!
By Laurie on Monday, September 22nd, 2008
“That was a WEIRD ONE!”
So, for whatever reason(okay, I know why - but you don’t want to know why, trust me), my dream immediately started off in a strange moment regarding my “daughter”. I am rarely me in my dreams; I’m usually some other person/character/whatever. There’s always a piece of me in their persona, but generally I’m just helping act out what’s going on. We’re aboard this really kickass train-plane. By that, I mean that it has compartment like rooms for passengers, but is still cramped like a plane. It’s also, well, flying high up in the sky like a plane. I never actually remember seeing the exterior.
Warning: it gets weird from here on out…
Read more »
By Laurie on Tuesday, August 26th, 2008
Whoa, where have I been! Busy in all sorts of fields of interest. Most of it all good! I mean, my mom made it through surgery and is currently cancer free. Huge load off my mind, of course I can only wish her the best in recovery.
My tattoo healed okay! I need to get the pink touched up - something was amiss and it’s slightly blotchy. No biggy, it still looks awesome and I love reaching down to admire it once in a while. I should definitely get it finished, oy, not enough time in the world sometimes.
Second Life interests have shifted and I’ll be ending a 4 year virtual business this week - and releasing content for free use from here on out. I’m sure some will enjoy it. As far as gaming goes, we’re still doing the WOW thing. We’ll be going to Blizzcon in October. I’m looking forward to it. We’re taking Kris and it’ll be like a little geek vacation. I am really hoping to get an autograph from Samwise while I’m there. Oooh or a picture! That’d be swell. We’re hoping to go in some simple costumes to add to the fun. Mmmmmmm…. shiny.
My mom called me the other day… we ended up talking about DOING something with my life. I always thought that I’d do something artistic if I ever DID something besides be a housewife. I’ve gotten back into art more than I had been in the last 5 years. I have an art piece to post in Projects too! It’s a comic book style piece. I like it, but I’m hung on details and need to finish them. Anyway..
She suggested this or that… it just got me thinking. I don’t want to sit around the house forever. I’m REALLY good at it, but I would like to DO something. So, in a strange twinkle of a moment I decided what I want to do. I’ve bought some books to prepare myself for it. I’m going to do some research. I’m going to speak to others in the same field. The amusing thing about it, is it isn’t a graphic-arts field. It’s something I’ve wanted to do since I was a little kid. In fact, I’d practice at it throughout my life. Hell, I still do.
Get ready to laugh…
Voice acting.
Yeah, I know, it’s not nearly as cool as you thought, right? It’s not going to be easy by any means. I don’t know what to expect. It may take a while to ever GET there. But I have a goal now, and that’s a comfort to me. Part of me is annoyed that it isn’t based on my (pitiful)artistic ability, but that’s okay. I really really do enjoy using my voice. Whether it’s the radio spots I did for GridStream, DJing I’ve done, playing around with my daughter, doing impressions of cartoon characters to amuse myself… I love it. I have to try, at the very least. If it doesn’t work out - great - I still tried.
Wooo!
I’m so lame.
By Laurie on Thursday, June 19th, 2008
Wednesday evening, sometime around 6pm, I showed up at Tattoo Technique for a consultation appointment with Andy Casali regarding a tattoo design I’d created. This design was to be an anklet tattoo with a mermaid focal point. It was inspired by the Dethklok song, Murmaider. I showed him the new design and he asked me when, then asked me if now would work. Well! Okay then! A sucker for the unexpected, I said “Sure!”, signed my form, paid my monies, and let him rub my leg down.
Haha, we decided to wait on the anklet part and he began preparing me for the mermaid focal. This being my first tattoo, I was unprepared really, for how it would feel. Sure enough, it does hurt like a bitch. S’cuse the French. I didn’t tear up or cry or wince, I just swore a lot. A lot. We took a couple of breaks - me stretching and he smoking. During the first break, a couple was walking by the shop and I came up in conversation, as getting my first tattoo, and she took a look at it and asked me what the mermaid’s name was. I was astounded! I had not even thought about it! I told her that I would have to think about it and that it was nice to have met her! What a chance encounter! Some time last night, between aftercare cleanings, I chose the name “Aleena”.
Anyway, back to the story. He finished up around 10pm and I took off after an appreciative handshake. I knew I was coming back. Not just to finish this tattoo, but to get at least one or two more. I chose Andy and Tattoo Technique because the owner had wonderful things to say about Andy, and I’ve seen his previous tattoo work, as well as the awesome art hanging inside the studio. I think he did a totally kickass job of taking my art and making it his tattoo. It almost feels like an unintentional collaboration between two artists. I’m going to bug him when I’m all healed up to see if he can help me figure out the anklet part(ocean waves of some sort!), and to thank him again! So far, I have to say that the pain of aftercare and general soreness when a tattoo is completed is worse than the actual tattoo procedure. Guh!
By Laurie on Saturday, June 14th, 2008
Last week was pretty damn busy. We went to Exit/In for my birthday and saw mc chris. Yes! Finally! I had a freakin’ great time, even though the dive booked 2 openers in addition to chris’ opener. He was not pleased, omg, I think he fired his promoter too on stage. Poor guy. It was tough waiting 3 hours to see him. It was well worth it though, he rocked us out. Everyone seemed to have fun as well. I narrowly escaped the mosh pit, once again. God I love being up front at a show! It was a great birthday pressie!
That Saturday we went to my niece’s softball team’s fundraiser dinner and got smashed. Yay open bars. It was pretty fun too, and the food was damn good. On top of that I got some gamer/adult swim swag. Rawr, I’m almost done with Mass Effect though, already. :( Boohoo. SO yeah, been busy! I spent this week putting together a tattoo design for myself, and now I’m going to spend the weekend unwinding, grilling some burgers, and maybe go see a movie. Next week I have a ton of shit to do. Paintings, skins to finish, and an artist to bug.
*Pics added!
By Laurie on Friday, June 6th, 2008
Dante has been with us a week now. We picked him up at the airport last Thursday and he has been quite the addition! He was rather stressed the first few days, not eating much and being defensive. Since then, he has eaten much more, allowed us to pet his back and sometimes his head. He’s currently in a regression stage, probably for reassurance purposes. He only exhibits these behaviors when he’s hungry and I pick him up. Then, the squawk begins! I feed him a warm birdie cereal at least once a day so he can be reassured that he’s babied and loved. He gobbles it up and bobs his head like a baby bird, then wipes his beak all over me before climbing up to my shoulder to squawk himself sleepy. It’s kind of cute, if a bit loud. Should be temporary. God he’s messy. I go through 2 shirts a day. It’ll be more manageable once he’s decided to give up the oatmeal.
At first he liked watching Bruce while sitting on top of Bruce’s cage, but now he gets a bit aggravated when Bruce gets attention - see, baby! He is a very sensitive guy, either way, and watching his personality grow is going to be very interesting. He does not like Moya at all, so far. Elsy doesn’t phase him too much, but he gets all ruffled and annoyed when Moya is near. She’s kinda big though, so it makes sense!
In any case, he is the most beautiful bird I have ever seen. Pictures do him no justice. His feathers are colored in such a magical way… he really is an amazing sight. He’ll be even more stunning when his upper beak is matured and the black is gone. Wow! I wonder what the girls look like in person!
